What Is Fashion?

Not a pretentious blog, this statement (above) was actually seen on a t-shirt one time. What a douche.

Last week we delved into the world of Men’s Fashion. This week, it’s the turn of the ladies, and by god there’s a bloody goldmine out there! From jeggings to jelly shoes, being caught up in the fashion world is not something I wish to be, and it would be somewhat pleasant if we could be reminded of decent clothes and the epitome of glamour once in a while.

Who could not want to wear this?! One of the best costumes I’ve seen in the moving picture, this is Grace Kelly as Lisa Fremont in the 1954 film ‘Rear Window’. This is an age of fashion that is both beautiful and impractical – nowadays it just appears to be impractical. And very poorly made – what is the point in such a quick turn over of clothes? Why go to all that trouble to make them and ship them from whatever developing country they have been made, only to be thrown out the next month when they fall apart or they need a dry clean? It’s a sad day when you realise it’s more economical to buy new clothes than wash all your old ones.

So! What are people wearing today? I’ve seen some hysterical ones on the streets,such as the trend for Leggings. This fashion seems somewhat insane to me, as most people who adopt it are usually on the large side, and personally I don’t really wish to see cellulite flying around everywhere. And I’m pretty sure no one else does either. I’m not really even a fan of seeing it on skinny people – fair enough they aren’t the see-through leggings of the early 90s, and it is plenty better on skinny people, but it’s still one thin layer of material away from skin. Neither cool nor aesthetically pleasing. Let us not wear such things. Also under this category falls Jeggings – the most pointless ‘thing’ I’ve ever seen I believe, as why not just wear skinny jeans if you want them to fit into your boots? And no I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable, they have a lot more credibility than JEGGINGS. Dear lord. They look stupid.

Right. My next point of contention is the travesty that is Ugg Boots. They are the least elegant shoe I think I’ve ever seen. Aside from always seeming to get soggy when it rains, no one ever seems to be able to wear them properly and always walks on the edges. Are they comfy? Because that must be the only reason for wearing them. But so comfy that what they look like can’t matter – a point that never seem to sit quietly with fashion.

Along the same lines of Ugg Boots (I mean in the stupid shoes gallery), Crocs aren’t exactly picturesque. But these, too, are apparently comfortable. In a shoe ‘warehouse’ the other day, me and a friend saw the worst combination of shoe ever – the boot part was of Ugg description, and the main foot consisted of Croc-based product. This confused the hell out of me (and my friend) – why would you ever combine the worst shoes in history to make  the ultimate negative combo? I mean COME ON.

Now I believe this next one is a trait that not many people like at all, although those who wear it don’t appear to realise it. Foundation, caked on so much you either look bright orange or just plain dirty, depending on the shade used, and the ironic part is that not only does it looks hideously unattractive (when you’re actually trying to appeal to people), it also it terribly bad for your skin. Which will lead to an even bigger cycle of make up to cover up the blemishes. Potential comedy gold… Having said that, make up in general is an alien concept to me – why pretend to be something you’re not, and why have all this crap on your face that means you can’t rub your eye if you want? I’m finding this picture mildly ironic due to the ‘Nature’s Minerals’ slogan on it. Hardly natural, very unlikely to be           minerals. Oh dear.

And what else? Oh yeah, hair extensions that are obviously fake. Whilst waiting for the lights to change, I observed the bird next to me, who was clearly wearing extensions, and clearly didn’t care much about the appearance, just that the hair was longer. Why extend your hair if it’s going to look awful? It’s hardly pretty to have an obvious attachment to your regular hair, especially if it’s supposed to be subtle. Big fail

And the last point – high bloody heels. Fair enough, some can look stunning and some can look beautiful – but if you can’t wear them and you look retarded, WHY EVEN BOTHER?! It’s a shame as there are some lovely shoes out there, but fashion is very much one of those things you need to know what suits you. And just because everyone else is, that doesn’t mean you have to break your neck as well. I personally think people are a lot more stylish if they chose what they like and what they are completely comfortable wearing, because there’s nothing better than someone who looks happy in their own skin.


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