“Is It Wrong For Me To Want My Men To Look Like Men?”

I quote from a close contemporary of mine, who seemed rather annoyed last time that I didn’t reference her, and considering this blog is basically inspired by her, I should state that this close contemporary is ZOE STEVENS. ALRIGHT?! And she lives just round the corner from me, is currently changing the B for an M at Bath Spa Uni, likes Marmite and might even get published soon. Bet you wish YOU knew her didn’t you?

Enough of the particulars. This blog’s topic, as it may have been obvious already, is men’s fashion nowadays, and how bloody ridiculous some of it is.

The oddities seen on the streets would challenge even the most bohemian of fashion designers. Aside from looking stupid, the majority of fashions seem to make life completely impractical, which should render them completely useless shouldn’t they? Alas, no.

These caps, in particular, confuse me. I like hats, although I’m not really a hat person, but why the hell would you wear such a stupid looking hat anyway, and then wear it several inches above your actual cranium to enlarge your general head space? The whole idea seems completely illogical, especially when the wearer appears to spend more time rearranging and keeping said hat on, and not being normal and caring about the things that matter when you’re on the streets like “Who’s stealing my bag?” or “Oh Christ, a bus is about to hit me.” Douchebags.

Now. Want to see lots of these?

Me neither.

Why do men think the world wants to be able to see them? The arrogance! The other day, I actually saw some boy’s jeans falling down because of the height of the belt, which he then pulled up to stop the trousers trailing around his ankles, but then pushed them back to expose part of his underwear. Why?! They look ridiculously awkward to wear – due to having nothing to hold them up, they need to bend their legs at a particular angle to keep them in place. Make them look like Ricketts Boy. Oh dear.

Now. My next point of contempt… Going along with the trousers, men wearing women’s trousers is just weird. Isn’t it..? It’s kind of strange when women wear men’s trousers (although they do tend to be more comfortable), but men wearing women’s?! Completely illogical once again: one’s reproductive power will be diminished and you can’t sit down and look retarded. So why do it?

The next “thing” with trousers is the Robinson Crusoe jeans. I don’t particularly wish to see a lot of pale ankles dashing about the high street, especially when they come with added idiotic shoe. Men wear weird shoes nowadays. I don’t understand why people wear something just because it’s “in fashion”. What if the fashion looks silly? They frequently do.

Haircuts. What do we think of haircuts? The ones that look like they’ve walked through the hedge backwards. Or straight out of the 70s. I can’t think of a famous person with such a sweeping fringe, but methinks you all know what I mean. What’s wrong with normal haircuts? They are so very rock music.

Personally, I blame Jack Wills. Jack ‘I’m actually far to expensive for the run-of-the-mill student but I’m going to call myself a University Outfitter anyway’ Wills. I think people walk in there normal and walk out a twat.

OH REALLY? What IS British anyway?

Any other ideas, please, feel free to contribute! Next week, Women’s fashion. Oh yes, it’ll be a field day.


2 Responses

  1. Can you plug my show idea, “People wear the Stupidest Clothes”?

  2. Yes, these are just lead-ups or ‘research pilots’ to “People Wear The Stupidest Clothes” – when can we see the final thing?

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