The Fantasy Dinner Party.

Despite it having “dinner” in the title, this is only because evening meals are so rarely called “Supper parties”. But I eat supper, I do not do “dinner”, “tea” (it’s a drink! The quintessential English DRINK), and, worst of all – surely – is “din dins”. That word is on par with “quirky”, de-pluralising “pound” (you have £3? It is THREE POUNDS. Not “three pound”. Or “free paaaaaand”), and maybe even the somewhat irksome Somerset phrase “Where’s that to?” Which, I think you’ll all agree, makes absolutely no sense at all.

So. We’re having supper. But who is to be invited? I feel there should be two invite lists – the fictional and the non-fictional. They are famous people and, yes, can be dead. This is fantasy world. Seven places, and I’m the host.

And this list is currently provisional. It changes all the time anyway.

The Real :

Charlie Brooker

John Betjeman

Agatha Christie

Dara O Briain (interchangeable with Dylan Moran, if Dara isn’t available)

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (although I’d need a “no puns allowed” rule)

Bette Davis (GLAMOURAMA)

Carol Ann Duffy (just to bring the jovial tone down ten feet)

The Not-So-Real :

Sherlock Holmes

Hercule Poirot

Jonathan Creek (am beginning to notice a pattern developing..)

(to be finished when I’ve thought of more who aren’t male fictional detectives…)

On another thought, this could make an excellent episode of ‘Come Dine With Me’.


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